"But we don't go to school any more! What's with the seating plan?"

As many of you may have heard, I attempted to formalise my Functional Skills session into some semblance of a hard-working, diligent group on Wednesday by incorporating a seating plan into the session.

To put it mildly, it was not received well!

The groans from each and every individual should have been taped and created into one of those looney music compilations of church bells ringing, or traffic: the new-age music that has no real melody, rhyme, rhythm, purpose than to annoy the listener.

I wasn't much amused by their initial reaction and I did feel that immediate rush of fear: 'Oh God, is it too late to rush to the door and escape this self-inflicted hell?'

I hope that in a few weeks that horrible feeling of terror will diminish a bit. I keep reminding myself half way through the lesson (much use be it then!) that it is good, it is fun and they are a really nice bunch of kids. But that initial, Oh My God moment at the start is really beginning to get to me.

I have had my fair share of looking after people. Besides a few dancers and the odd bout of foreign students, I was a Senior Student in my final year at University. I can honestly say that I only felt that 'flee' feeling the moment before I stepped into each kitchen, on the first night. The rest came naturally and we agreed the rules as we went along.

I rarely suffer from nerves and so this feeling is really strange and new and it's throwing me off my game. I feel like I'm forcing them to work, for the lesson to continue and my tutor is right: it gets to a point when it sounds like I'm pleading with them!

I sat in on their TV and Film acting class and their cover tutor confessed to me at the end of the class that he had little teaching experience and hadn't yet decided if he could afford to stop his work and do his own PGCE - and there was an unbeatable amount of 'cool' in his teaching. He was laid back and really kept them with him the whole way through. Found myself wishing I had his charm in a classroom.

I read (Trevor Wright, 2005) that 'cool' teachers have little substance without the planning and prep behind them. Well, John the TV tutor had that too.

I'm planned. I'm prepped. Where's my injection of cool?

Nope, I still remain the nerd at the front of the class.

Anyway, I have my first proper Drama lesson on Monday and I am prop-full of games and fun things to do so maybe my kudos will improve with my kids? Will keep you posted ;)

Love Fliss x